Pet For Two Days

While I was gone this week, my husband decided we needed a pet when he befriended a toad in our garden. He seemed to believe he was an accomplished, great hunter upon harnessing the feisty creature and was compelled to phone me and brag on his latest catch. I was predictably unimpressed and slightly annoyed at his boyish endeavors but I played along with it anyway, being the good sport that I am (and with the support of some good prescription drugs).

Upon entering our home, I was greeted by my family and our "new" addition, ARMANDO, THE TOAD. Not certain why he acquired a Latin name, but Jenna called him "Frogger" just to spite her dad. The family had already been to the pet store and purchased various items including 15, gross, creepy crickets. Gabby thought it prudent to feed Armando ALL 15 crickets at once! Well, the scene was a gruesome one that my nightmares are now made of. The crickets took over Armando's home including his body which became furniture for their party. They were even walking on his eyeballs! VERY RUDE! I demanded they promptly remove the crickets from Armando's home and place them back in their little container, which Gabby did. So, Armando was lonely, bored and probably hungry for quite a long time, until Gabby came home from work and decided to first give the crickets a meal, then feed the creatures to the toad. Good plan....he just needed a bit more information on what crickets eat, but in lieu of lack of research time, he fed them a single Parmesan/Garlic Cheez-it. The crickets swarmed the Cheez-it like it was Thanksgiving in Cricketland and just as quickly, began to roll over and die!! It was another gruesome scene. Crickets were convulsing and breathing their last breaths and just dying in there! Ok, they were either in comas or dead (I'm not sure, I do not profess to have a Veteranarian degree) until Gabby removed the Cheez-it, thusly saving the lives of 5 (five) crickets!!! MY HERO!!! (yes, 10 lives were lost that day, and we grieved....)

Well, their lives were not extended too much as Gabby fed the remaining 5 crickets to Armando, the toad. We can't be certain, but the toad has one extremely fast tongue, because those little crickets just disappeared before our very eyes, without our ever catching a glimpse of Armando's tongue. One minute the cricket was there, the next millisecond "disapero!". Quite a lot of excitement for the kids before bedtime, but we are live-on-the-edge parents and very forward-thinking.

The next day, we released our pet to the wild. Gabby says our cat will probably catch him and eat him, but I think that he is certain for a successful life in the wild with his new, Latin name and full belly and fond experiences from "the inside". Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy!

Queen of multi-tasking?

Ok, after a working weekend (only one warm day) and taking on a new position, I am feeling overwhelmed. I love that my friends, colleagues and even acquaintances have more confidence in my abilities than I have in myself, and I appreciate everyone being so very encouraging and supportive. Thanks to all!!!!

It seems my endeavors are many at this moment and I am savoring it. Along with working in the salon, selling Mary Kay cosmetics, supporting my husbands' business (the majority of my working hours LOL), and being a full time mom, I have partnered with my former corporate colleague to form a computer equipment and maintenance company! (called The SMB Solution....my cheesy plug...sorry!) Very exciting stuff huh??? I am actually excited to get my hands back in the pot of corporate America! (never thought I would say that)....I guess I have missed it a bit! It is wonderful to have so many interests that I am able to work in each field and get the best of all worlds. What fun!

Anyway, I am going to keep everyone updated as to the latest goings-ons as I am sure this will prove to be an interesting study in my juggling abilities and I hope to stay sane as I take on new tasks. I think I am afraid of becoming lazy, so I will fill my plate and run with it! (a little more running might help my figure!)
Have a great week!!!

Vonzel is gone

Well folks, we are down to the final two on American Idol. I like the rocker "Bo" personally, but we'll see....Gabby says it is time for a blonde chick to win (statistically speaking) so it is now a waiting game.....Can't wait!

We have re-configured our living room to incorporate our computer/media center, so I will hopefully be able to write more, but I fear it won't be as high quality because the "Dungeon" had a special magic that helped me to be funny and intelligent....I don't see how that can happen now. For example, how witty and intelligent can I be when I am in the living room, watching Sesame Street (literally) whilst typing these words? Elmo doesn't strike me as the sharpest garden tool in the shed. I need to surround myself with better people (is Elmo even human? ... SCARY!)

I have heard tell that Michigan is going to have a nice, semi-warm weekend this coming weekend. It is just a rumor and I will have to see it to believe it, but at least there is hope....I am getting tired of praying for above-freezing evening temps, in order to save our outdoor flowers and plants....Is this a result of Global Warming??? Please say NO!

The Emergency Room

It has been a week now, so I can debrief and satire-ize the humor I found in the ER.
Talk about DRAMA! It was bad enough that my mom calls me at 6:30am "I don't feel good, when you take Jenna to school (@ 8:30am) come over and take me to the Emergency Room"....I reply "what is happening?" "Chest pains, can't breath, can't stand up" etc.....

Oh my gosh!!! This woman is suffering chest pains and wants me to wait TWO HOURS to take her to ER??? You've gotta be kidding me!!! She didn't want to "worry" Jenna! Anyhow, we get there, she is waiting behind a super sick man in a wheelchair (she is also in one at this point) and they are both suffering chest pain, and other symptoms of a heart attack. With only one triage nurse on duty, she attends to the man who came in first (they were sitting in a row in their wheelchairs)...the man is so bad they skip triage and send him in (appears to be in the midst of a heart attack--YIKES)....I am anxious to have the nurse come out and tend to my mother when a woman in the waiting room has her husband wheel her IN FRONT of my mother!!! I can't believe it! The woman is moaning something fierce and saying something like "oh, the pain, the pain!!!" when the nurse comes out, she tends to the 'squeaky wheel' but tells her that stomach pain takes a second to the woman suffering chest pains. The 'squeaky wheel' insists she must be dying and needs immediate attention throwing in "my chest hurts too, I hurt all over". Now I am ready to show her what it is like to hurt all over!!! I thank God the triage nurse knows how to handle this situation and we get mom into the ER for attention. I walk in to the ward hearing what sounds like an actual PIG in the ER. I can't image what could be making such an authentic "OINK" sound....Well, it was a human, although she had the physical appearance of a pig, she was sleeping on her side, without a sheet to cover her excess weight and OINKING!

As luck would have it, they placed my mother beside the human porkchop and then in comes the squeaky wheel....and you guessed it! They place her on the other side of my mom....How can one person moan and groan so much? As they were tending to mom, giving her doses of nitro and morphine, the porkchop continued her restful slumber and the squeaky wheel continued her moaning. After about an hour they carted the porkchop off to enjoy her rest elsewhere but the squeaky wheel continued on, without pause for over 2 hours. They gave her dose after dose of morphine and after about 6 hours, released the squeaky wheel without being able to find any problem. (I'm thinking perhaps an addiction to morphine, looking for a cheap fix?)

Good news is, mom seems to be getting better although we have yet to determine what caused her symptoms (I am still convinced she has some circulatory/heart issue, but I am no doctor-as my husband reminds me almost daily). This setting seemed to be the perfect backdrop for a Mad-TV skit! Only it was LIVE and in person!

The Monster on a good day 

Jenna Posing 

Little Orphan Juliet 

Finger soup?

What a crazy past two weeks!!! Those of you closest to me know the chaos that has ensued and soon I will have the hindsight and distance to laugh about it all, but for now, here is the latest in news-reporter format. Gabriel (my hubby) chopped off part of his finger last week during his Culinary Arts final exam.....(yes, we have heard every feasible derivative of the "Wendys finger soup fiasco" and Arbys finger nastiness and the latest ice cream factory mishap flavor of 'chocolate fingertip sundae' so DON'T EVEN go there!!!) Then my mom decides to get sick and have what appears to be a heart attack this past Monday and is in the hospital all week (she is better now and they think she had a "virus" which any Einstein knows is Doctor code for "we have no frickin cluebag").
On a lighter note, we have a new digital camera! Yah! Gabriel deleted all the cool shots I got of Juliet, and he took some shots of her in her t-shirt and shoes (I was obviously at work or she would have NEVER looked like such a rag-doll)...so just for poops and giggles, I will post that photo later.
Have a great weekend Y'all!!!!