It's over and I'm broke!

I am exhausted, financially unstable and I'm going grocery shopping! After all the love and kindness and giving and joy and love and more giving and eating and joy and love, my entire community seems to have lapsed into a bitter, angry, unhappy mood. The air is very thick around these parts. Many complain of the gifts received, most complain of the money spent and this is the first year I have heard LOTS of people accusing others of the dreaded and socially unacceptable activity of "re-gifting". I must admit, I have occasionally been forced to partake of this shunned practice, but only in cases of extreme emergency and only gifts that I would have wanted to keep myself....or at least that is the line I give myself when attempting to justify my actions. My husband wins the prize though. He was the only one of us (and I considered myself the SMART one....yeah, right!) to realize that my mother was only going to be receiving two (2) gifts for Christmas this year....One from us and one from our daughter. Ours was pricey-- beyond my budget and although it occurred to me that she was going to have an empty Christmas without my Dad, physically and emotionally, I never gave the gift factor one thought. This is the first Christmas without my Dad and he used to always make sure my mother had the largest pile of gifts each and every year....how could I have forgotten this important fact? I'll blame hormones, I guess. But the point is, my husband realized this, and realized it before Christmas morning when all the gifts were doled out. As all good Christmas stories go.....yes Virginia, there was a glimmer of hope! Although my husband had to work Christmas Eve night, and we were calling stores like crazy...ALL of which were closing within 10 minutes...he offered to brave the crowds and spare me and the little ones the horror when I found one KMart open past 7pm!!!! My (newly discovered) Knight-in-Shining-Armor dons his suit for work, and braves the only store open in a 50 mile radius. He had to wait for a parking space, almost got hit by a woman while pulling into the spot, dodges a car in the lot that comes a foot away from smashing him into the pavement and then waits for a shopping cart only to have it stolen from him while he reaches for the 20inch Flatscreen TV/DVD that we have decided to get for my mom. I get so mad I say the "F" word to him on the Nextel Walkie Talkie that goes like this "tell that guy Merry "F-ing" Christmas! Bastard!!!".....My hubby informs me I was on speaker phone and it echoed through the aisle...."Good" I reply. (only slightly blushing on the other end of the phone). So, Mom got her Flatscreen TV/DVD and it was the BIGGEST gift under the tree. We can never out-do my Dad, but we can sure do our best to try to remember and respect his empty chair. I hope you all had a great holiday!

All Gums!

I am sitting here, so reluctant to send them. Those of you that have given me your addresses, will be receiving one shortly. They are wrapped and packed, so-to-speak, and I am going to gather my courage and send them out. I am missing a few addresses, so forward me your address if you want to get one, Lord knows I ordered much more than I will ever need. The dreaded holiday family photo/card....who invented these damn things anyway? Now I get to worry about what my friends and loved ones will say when they see us-----"hmmmm, the baby looks NOTHING like her"-----"she looks like she has gained a TON of weight"------"Is she bloated or pregnant?"-----"Does she have any teeth or is she all gums?"-----"Is THAT her husband?" etc. As I was filling out the message "Best Wishes to you and yours this Holiday Season" these non-holiday, non-best-wish-related thoughts were running through my head! I almost burned the cards/photos before getting them home, but then was pulled back into reality by the sales receipt and the threat of my potentially wasting money.....besides, to buy holiday cards at this time would be a definite sin! Holiday Cards are on sale 3 weeks before the holiday and the day after the holiday, NOT 12 days before the holiday, they would ask full price and I can't forgive my vanity if I go down such a shallow path. So, they are sitting on my table, awaiting cheerful, holiday stamps, much to my chagrin. I guess I can't expect to get any modeling offers off of this photo session!